Pull, Don’t Push
Pull, don’t push. This is something that can be very useful, especially to people in leadership positions but can be used by anyone.
To pull is to invite. To push is to go against.
Much of this has to do with subtle wording of speech but is worth the extra effort. It will eventually become natural and your life can acquire a peaceful flow and balance.
If you want someone to improve or change something it may work better to say “Hey, that’s good. Have you thought about trying this?”
Starting with a positive and moving forward from there can often be more effective than starting in the negative and trying to move ahead.
“You need to talk to me” can become “Let’s see if we can communicate more.” Also using a collective we or us instead of pitting the I against you can be effective. Be aware that if used too often this can sound patronizing and not sincere. For example if your boss says let’s see we can pack more widgets on the assembly line but he sits in an office the worker knows there is no “we”. But if the leader is a team leader at a school where she is a teacher and is trying to enhance the effectiveness of other teachers this can work well. It can also work well with conductors and orchestras.
What happens if you physically push someone? They push back. Every action has an opposite and equal reaction. You now have two people pushing each other away and farther from each other.
