Category Archives: Humor

So I recently received a magazine / journal that I subscribe to and I had to share the label it was addressed to: Now, who could this be from? My Men’s Health or Guitar World subscriptions? Oh no. That might … Continue reading →

A kid wants to learn bass, but his dad isn’t too into it. Being a good dad, though, he gets the kid a bass and pre-pays six months of lessons. After the first lesson, the kid comes out and the … Continue reading →

When doing spiccato, bounce your bow as high as possible – it’s impressive. Count rests out loud, that way people know that you can count. Don’t wait for the lower string tuning note. You’re better than that. Be sure to … Continue reading →

When I was in high school I auditioned for the all county jazz band. I had prepared several scales and solos on my electric bass. There were 5 or so us going and after school us and our band teacher … Continue reading →

During my first semester of undergrad I was asked to play bass in the pit orchestra for A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. I was even told there would be a bass there for me. Cool! … Continue reading →

You have 1 hour. 1. Explain the difference between sforza, sforzando, sforzata, and La Forza Del Destino. Be specific. 2. What is the diameter of the hole in the water key on your instrument? If your instrument does not have … Continue reading →

I was teaching a string quartet class during a summer camp and had referred to my instrument by name – Giovanni. The kids looked at me with a quizzical and slightly condescending expression. “Oh come on!” I said. “Don’t look … Continue reading →

there was a bass player soooo bad, even the section noticed!

Here are a two funny scores… You can click the thumbnails for larger images.

 MATH TEST FOR ORCHESTRAL MUSICIANS

How about some humor… Here are some things I’ve found – I don’t claim them as original. ___   Doctoral Music Exam – you have 1 hour.