MostlyBass.com

• When doing spiccato, bounce your bow as high as possible – it’s impressive.
• Count rests out loud, that way people know that you can count.
• Don’t wait for the lower string tuning note. You’re better than that.
• Be sure to snap the string when playing pizz – it adds a nice percussive sound to help the cellos and violas.
• Talk whenever you want – you’re far enough back that you never bother anyone and the conductor can’t see you anyway.
• Be 5 minutes late – the winds are tuning anyway so who cares?
• Bombard the maestro with useless questions – you’ll seem like you really care about the ensemble.
• Don’t practice – you want to be ‘fresh’ for the gig.
• Befriend the tuba player so you can make fun of everyone else.
• Leave your case right behind you. It will make leaving the gig quicker so you can get to the bar before the brass section.
• Dynamics? Ha! You need everyone to hear the tempo – play loud!
• Remember, pops concerts are 45 minutes of G – D then a run that’s impossible.
• Don’t sweat all those excerpts in Beethoven. The cellos double you anyway.
• Speaking of cellos, ignore their bowings. Hmmm… No really.
• Don’t bother bringing a bow tie – someone always has an extra.
• Talk during the gig – rock stars do.

When I was in high school I auditioned for the all county jazz band. I had prepared several scales and solos on my electric bass.

There were 5 or so us going and after school us and our band teacher rode a school bus to the audition site.

In the warmup room I kept looking around for the other bass players. I was curious to see what the competition was like. We arrived early and there weren’t many students there yet.

Another bus load of students came in. Still no bassists.

Finally right before my audition I looked around. I was the only one!

I auditioned, and well, made the group.

I had to ask my director on the ride home, “Do I tell people I made the ensemble or that I was the only one that auditioned?”

During my first semester of undergrad I was asked to play bass in the pit orchestra for A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. I was even told there would be a bass there for me. Cool! Not having to bring my bass is a rare treat that seldom occurs.

I wasn’t expecting much – perhaps just a plywood Kay or other laminated bass.

I arrived early to rehearsal to get accustomed to the instrument and get all setup with my stool and bass gear.

“Where is the bass?”

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You have 1 hour.

1. Explain the difference between sforza, sforzando, sforzata, and La Forza Del Destino. Be specific.

2. What is the diameter of the hole in the water key on your instrument? If your instrument does not have a water key, what is the diameter of the third moon of Jupiter?

3. List Johann Sebastian Bach’s children (include middle names) and

give: a. Date of birth b. Date of death (if deceased) c. Last known address d. Social Security number

4. Name the composers who wrote a First Symphony.

5. Give the opening theme of each symphony in #4 (above).

6. What is the relationship and musical significance of the 10th and 11th bars of the aria “Soldaten, Soldaten” to the aria’s final bars (1048-1063) in the Alban Berg opera “Wozzeck”? (Click here to read the rest of this entry)

I was teaching a string quartet class during a summer camp and had referred to my instrument by name – Giovanni. The kids looked at me with a quizzical and slightly condescending expression.

“Oh come on!” I said. “Don’t look at me like that – all musicians name their instruments and I know you did too. My bass is Giovanni.”

I looked at a violinist to my left. “What’s the name of your instrument?” I asked. (Click here to read the rest of this entry)

there was a bass player soooo bad, even the section noticed!

Economic Crisis Takes It’s Toll on Live Music

Early Reports Point to Many Changes, and Cutbacks

MostlyBass.com
Washington Bureau
C.S. , Special Contributor

Amidst national concern over the failing U.S. Economy, many performance bands are streamlining their groups to cut costs.  Large groups, with multiple instruments covering the same part, have seemingly become a thing of the past.  Having already cut back on the size and scope of the technical aspect (dramatic lighting, over-sized P.A. Systems), many are now looking to the on-stage talent to protect themselves against cost overruns and poor profits. (Click here to read the rest of this entry)

Here are a two funny scores… You can click the thumbnails for larger images.

 MATH TEST FOR ORCHESTRAL MUSICIANS (Click here to read the rest of this entry)

How about some humor… Here are some things I’ve found – I don’t claim them as original.

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Doctoral Music Exam – you have 1 hour. 

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